


No More Lost Endeavours

by tillthestarsevaporate



Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: 5 Things, 5+1 Things, Baking (brief), Chocolate, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Non-Canon Relationship, Pining, Post-Canon, aelin is so soft around nesryn, grand scheming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:36:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25120999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tillthestarsevaporate/pseuds/tillthestarsevaporate
Summary: The five times Nesryn and Aelin shared a hug, and the one time they realised they were never just hugs.Told from Nesryn's POV and takes place after Kingdom of Ash - but also not really, since neither Rowan nor Sartaq exists (sorry). That said, there aren't any major spoilers, not even if you've only read the first two books. Well, except that you wouldn't have met Nesryn yet.
Relationships: Aelin Ashryver Galathynius | Celaena Sardothien / Nesryn Faliq
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	No More Lost Endeavours

**Author's Note:**

> Here is a little something I was inspired to write after finishing Kingdom of Ash. Nesryn barely got any page time in the final book, so I fixed it.

**ONE**

The first time Nesryn realised she had feelings for Aelin was the day they were saying goodbye at Terrasen, before Nesryn returned home. There, among everyone else, Nesryn hugged Aelin. She was surprised at how fiercely Aelin returned her hug. Tighter, she squeezed. It took Nesryn’s breath away. She relished the connection, of course, and squeezed back.

After all, wasn’t everything in their lives a battle?

Aelin pulled back enough to whisper in Nesryn’s ear. “You know I’m always here if you need me, right?”

It had taken Nesryn a while to warm up to Aelin when they first met, but now? Now she couldn’t imagine not having Aelin in her life. A female friend for once.

Nesryn whispered back, “Thank you.”

“I’m really going to miss you, Nesryn Faliq,” Aelin said, and Nesryn pulled back. Her breath caught when she saw tears in the queen’s eyes.

Before the tears could be mirrored in her own eyes, Nesryn forced herself to smile and said, “You didn’t think I’m leaving for good, did you? Of course I’ll visit, you know that.” Aelin shifted in the embrace.

“And drive you crazy,” Nesryn added.

Aelin laughed through the tears and gave Nesryn one last squeeze before pulling away, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. In those last seconds, Nesryn was fixated by Aelin. Her golden hair, her smile, the laugh that reached her eyes.

It was then that she felt a tightening in her chest at the thought of not seeing Aelin for the foreseeable future.

Nesryn would often think back to this moment. She would realise her reaction wasn’t as simple as sadness at being parted from a close friend. Later, she’d recall that hug and hope no one noticed the way she felt.

And as she climbed atop her ruk, Nesryn glanced one last time at Aelin, committing the image of the smiling, tearful queen to memory, smiled back, then flew away.

~~~~

**TWO**

You see, Nesryn hadn’t expected to feel this way. She thought she’d reach the Southern Continent, would miss Aelin for a few weeks, then would settle into her routine and eventually only have the occasional thought about the other woman.

This couldn’t be further from what happened, from what was still happening. Thoughts about Aelin had quickly morphed into ones about Aelin’s eyes. Then Nesryn wanted so desperately to remember the way Aelin’s curves felt against her that day. She wanted to know how it would feel to thread her fingers in Aelin’s hair. Whisper sweet nothings in her ear.

Now, as she browsed the market for an extra pair of fighting boots, she found her thoughts veering in that direction. She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath, trying but failing to send them away. Her mind undoubtedly insisted on the replay, sinking deeper into thoughts of Aelin’s neck, her half-exposed torso—

_Nesryn!_

This felt exactly like when she’d try to recall something and end up forgetting it more, more, eventually having no recollection of what she was trying to remember.

 _Nesryn!_ She screamed at herself, hoping to shut her mind up through sheer force of will.

The textile merchant’s loud voice pulled her to reality as he advertised his best-quality cotton, and Nesryn was so grateful for the interruption that she spent what was close to an hour talking to him and buying a year’s worth of cotton for her tunics and trousers.

She was so grateful.

Later that evening, as Nesryn found a place in her collection for the new boots, the idea materialised easily. It was time to pay Aelin a visit. How she hadn’t done so for months, despite promising the queen she would, was frankly embarrassing.

And maybe seeing Aelin would help her sort out those strange feelings.

~~~~

The next morning, Nesryn packed her essential belongings and started on her way to Terrasen. The interminable journey would be worth it, she knew, to settle her feelings.

She arrived days later, stiff winds greeting her. She was used to them by now, of course, thanks to Salkhi, her ruk. She found a place to leave him for the night and headed to the royal castle, her heart hammering harder in her chest the closer she got. She wondered how Aelin would react to seeing her.

When she got to the gates, she asked a guard to send word to the queen about her arrival. The gates reopened moments later. She glimpsed Aelin’s form moving fast towards her. Sprinting, not running—for the benefit of the guards, Nesryn supposed. Aelin stopped near the gate.

“Leave us,” she ordered the guards, who gestured for Nesryn to enter. When she was finally inside, the guards bowed to their queen and locked the gates behind them. Nesryn was still looking in their direction when Aelin jumped into her arms, wrapping her in a hug. With an _oomph_ , Nesryn returned it, closing her eyes and breathing deeply. She caught a whiff of a burning smell.

“I missed you,” Aelin said without pulling away. Nesryn’s answer was to squeeze tighter, too consumed in the feel of Aelin to say much. The hug should have felt awkward, with Nesryn enveloped so tightly she felt Aelin’s bones, but it didn’t. It was perfect, and Nesryn was once again overwhelmed by how much she needed that contact.

“What took you so long?” Aelin asked, pulling away, beaming.

Nesryn shrugged. She had to take a few moments to recover from the sudden loss of contact. “Guess I have to make it up to you, huh?”

Aelin smirked. “Perhaps you could bake me something?”

“Your highness, it’s funny you think I can bake just because my father owns a bakery.” Nesryn laughed. “Plus, it seems you have just burned something. I don’t think the kitchen is in any functioning state.”

“You flatter me, Nesryn,” Aelin said in that seducing drawl Nesryn had come to love. She continually wondered how Aelin had gotten away with it without seducing anyone—or anyone Nesryn knew of— She was baffled by how everyone seemed immune to it. Everyone but Nesryn.

“We’ll have to think of another way then,” Aelin continued, chuckling, the wide smile not leaving her face. “Come now, you must be tired.”

Nesryn smiled.

Aelin interlaced her left arm with Nesryn’s right, leading her into the castle, and Nesryn revelled in the warmth of the contact in the chilly night air.

Only minutes in, but Nesryn already realised how wrong she was. She’d seen Aelin and immediately switched to banter mode.

Those feelings that plagued her would be really difficult to get rid of.

~~~~  
  


**THREE**

That night, Aelin talked her ear off, saying too much about little in particular. She spoke about all her duties as the new queen, and that it was more difficult than she expected despite already expecting an ordeal. Nesryn, in turn, told her about her most recent adventures with her sister Delara and her nieces and nephews, how she took them to explore the woods—“Yes, it’s very safe, don’t worry,” she told Aelin.

Nesryn didn’t want to overstay her welcome, so she excused herself when the queen started yawning between words.

“I should go,” she said, standing and heading for the door.

On her way there, Aelin asked, “Where are you going, Captain?”

 _Captain_. Her former title. But it sounded so good on Aelin’s lips that she didn’t bother to correct her.

Nesryn stopped and looked at her. “It’s getting late, Aelin. I need to find a place to stay the night.”

Aelin covered her yawn with her palm. “You’re joking, right? You are friends with the queen of Terrasen and you want to go gallivanting to some random inn?”

Nesryn shrugged.

“You’re staying here, end of discussion.”

Nesryn was only worried that Aelin might want her privacy, but ultimately she didn’t mind staying in the castle. As long as it wasn’t—

“ _Here_ in my chambers.” Aelin pointed to her bed, the one they were both sitting at the edge of moments earlier. “Plenty of room.”

_Fuck._

“I’m sure you could ask your staff to get any room here ready.”

“Nonsense.” Aelin shook her head.

“I don’t want to intrude,” Nesryn said, grasping at any straws to avoid sleeping in the same room as Aelin, the _same bed_ as Aelin. It would do a lot of damage to her already-relentless thoughts. It was the worst of ideas, she knew. And yet, the former assassin was stubborn. There was no convincing her.

“Nesryn, please.” Aelin’s face suddenly turned sombre. “It gets quite lonely here at night,” she whispered.

And who was Nesryn to say no to such a sincere request?

“Fine.” She nodded. “I just need a place to change into something I can sleep in.”

“But—”

Nesryn attempted her best jokingly stern face. _Aelin couldn’t possibly change in front of her!_

No matter how much she wanted her to.

Aelin conceded and stood up, grabbing a folded change of clothes from a chair near the bathing chambers. “I’ll change in there, you change here. Knock when you’re done,” she said, shutting the door behind her.

~~~~

With the lights turned off, she could still see the silhouette of Aelin’s back next to her on the bed.

Nesryn couldn’t sleep.

She lay on her back, staring at the high ceiling, keenly aware of Aelin’s fretting. Nesryn’s heart matched Aelin’s state of slumber. At first, her heart beat too fast and she wondered if Aelin heard it with her superior hearing. As Aelin settled in, so did Nesryn’s breathing. She felt Aelin’s gradual shift from wakefulness to calm, her movements getting slower and less frequent, her breathing steadying.

And by the time it seemed Aelin was asleep, Nesryn had also relaxed. Not enough to sleep herself, but enough to slow down her wandering mind. Enough to limit thoughts of what she wanted and focus on the peaceful woman sleeping next to her. Nesryn smiled, grateful she agreed to stay here. Lying alongside Aelin made her feel so calm, so warm. So safe.

Aelin suddenly shifted, the movement pulling Nesryn’s eyes from the ceiling. She turned towards Nesryn, her eyes still closed. Still asleep.

An arm shot out onto Nesryn’s chest and she startled. In her dreamy state, Aelin moved closer and snuggled her head in Nesryn’s neck. Nesryn buzzed at the nearness.

She sighed, closing the distance between them and wrapping her arms around Aelin’s sleeping form. She rested her head on Aelin’s and closed her eyes.

Aelin fit so perfectly against her as if they were made for this exact purpose.

_Gods, she was becoming cheesy._

Nesryn breathed in Aelin’s freshly washed hair and relaxed. Her breathing slowing. Her mind at peace.

And slowly but surely, she fell asleep.

~~~~

**FOUR**

One night days later, Nesryn was out, exploring Terrasen, when she saw a fancy-looking chocolate place, triggering memories of Chaol complaining, over and over, about how much Aelin loved chocolate, about how she would eat an entire box on her own in the span of minutes. _Disgusting_ , he had said.

Nesryn knew it was adorable, rather. Obviously, it was fate that she came upon the shop. It was a nudge by some unknown power, a push in a certain direction. And so she decided she wanted to see for herself how adorable the young queen would look.

She went in, the smell of cocoa immediately hitting her. She breathed in deeply. An olive-skinned boy, about eighteen years of age, greeted her at the door. When he asked if he can help her find anything, she explained that her friend was a chocoholic but she didn’t know what flavours she loved. The boy seemed to think for a short moment, as if he got that explanation all the time, then suggested a little of everything—how had she not thought of that?

Nesryn settled on a box with assorted flavours, from white to dark, and everything in between. No nuts, of course, for she knew Aelin vocally hated it. Something about them getting easily stuck in her teeth. She silently cursed the _high standards_ that a notorious assassin develops and a queen keeps.

The castle guards knew Nesryn by now—she’s even played a card game or two with many of them—so she entered the castle right away. No lights were on as far her eyes could see, the darkness of the sky carrying on inside. Standing in front of the queen’s chambers, she halted, her worry about the absence of light from under the door intensifying. She knew Aelin didn’t sleep that early.

She placed the box of chocolate on the floor quietly and took an offensive stance, readying the dagger she always kept tucked by her trousers’ waistband. She tried to not betray her mind’s maelstrom. What if Aelin was kidnapped? Slipped and fell? Or worse, murdered? Attempting to control her breathing, Nesryn slowly opened the door and stepped in on tiptoes. A quick glance showed a faint light in the distance, close to where the bed stood. She walked to it, gulping more breaths, until she finally had an unobstructed view of its source.

Candles of reds and yellows lay along a smaller room. A bathing chamber, she realised when she saw Aelin sitting in a bathing tub. Nesryn’s jaw dropped, the sight not helping the shortage of air in her lungs. Aelin’s back faced her, but she was clearly fine. Simply enjoying a bath after a long day.

A bath that involved her fully naked form under the water.

Her fully naked form under the water.

Her fully naked form—

She was _naked_.

Nesryn shook the thought off.

_Why did you become so paranoid, Nesryn Faliq?_

She knew why, knew it was because of everything she’s been through, the latest of which was the war. At the absence of a threat, other than the one to her heart, she returned the dagger to its scabbard, letting out a heavy sigh. This caught Aelin’s attention.

“I was wondering why you were standing there watching me,” she told Nesryn.

Nesryn attempted a smile when she noticed Aelin‘s neck struggling to turn towards her. Then Aelin was huffing and standing up. “Since you won’t face me. Seems like I always do all the work myself.” Aelin’s head faced her first, the smirk playing on her lips. Then her body.

Her naked body, curves and creases and scars. For a split second, Nesryn’s heart jumped in her throat and she stood there asphyxiated by the sight.

She quickly looked away when she realised what was happening, turning her back to the naked queen.

“And after all that, _you_ turn around,” Aelin continued, the smirk now registering in her voice.

Nesryn heard unhurried footsteps behind her, then a hand was on her shoulder. “Nesryn?”

She didn’t dare turn around again, and Aelin apparently got the hint, because seconds later she stood in front of Nesryn in a long tunic.

_Phew._

Aelin looked down, noticing the dagger not fully sheathed, and her features evidently changed.

“Nesryn, you’re all right?” Aelin searched her face.

Nesryn nodded.

“What happened?”

Nesryn found her voice. “All the lights were out, and I thought something happened to you while I was away:”

Aelin rested her hands on Nesryn’s arms, looking her in the eye.

“I’m all right. Nothing happened,” she said, probing Nesryn’s eyes for confirmation she understood.

Nesryn nodded again, slowly starting to breathe again. She attempted a half-smile, but she could tell it was weak when Aelin stepped a little closer, trying to comfort her.

“I was an assassin, you know? People can’t just sneak up on me.” Aelin smiled.

Nesryn nodded repeatedly. “Yes, yes, of course. Unless perhaps another assassin.”

“Were you worried about me, Nesryn Faliq?”

A shrug.

“It’s all right,” Aelin said, and enveloped Nesryn in a warm hug. Little fabric was separating them, but Nesryn found that this was the least of her worries right then.

She thought she’d lost Aelin, even if for only a few seconds, and all she wanted now was to stay this close to Aelin forever.

She hugged Aelin tighter then and closed her eyes, Aelin’s scent not distracting her at all.

She hugged her even tighter when she felt hands rubbing her back slowly.

Gradually, Nesryn could breathe normally again. She stayed in Aelin’s arms as long as Aelin would let her, though. And as the minutes ticked by, Aelin didn’t let go. Not until Nesryn remembered the reason she came to Aelin’s chambers in the first place.

The chocolate.

Nesryn pulled back. “I... uh... I got you something.”

“Ahh, do tell.”

“I’ll be right back,” Nesryn said, sprinting outside the rooms to where she left the box. When she returned to Aelin—now sitting on the bed—she said, “I left it outside when I thought something was amiss.”

The moment Aelin saw the box, her eyes sparkled. She snatched it from Nesryn’s hand the minute Nesryn sat next to her on the bed.

Seeming to remember her manners, the queen of Terrasen looked Nesryn in the eye. Nesryn stopped breathing when she saw the sincerity there, when Aelin took her hand and squeezed it.

“Thank you,” was all she said before she offered Nesryn some then devoured the chocolates, every last one of them, and Nesryn was more than happy to just sit there and watch her.

Adorable indeed.

~~~~

**FIVE**

Nesryn was still in Terrasen several nights later, thanks to its queen’s persuasive skills. Not that Nesryn didn’t want to stay. She loved that she didn’t have to make excuses to stay like she originally planned.

“I’m bored out of my mind,” Aelin told Nesryn one day. It was a slow morning and Aelin was free for once—no meetings and very few matters to attend to. Before then, she wouldn’t have thought a queen could have a free day.

“Please, Nesryn. I beg you. Find me anything to do,” Aelin said, clasping her hands together and shaking them below her chin.

And then an idea took form in Nesryn’s head. A brilliant idea that’s bound to elicit a few laughs.

“I could teach you to bake,” she said, grinning.

Aelin scrunched her brows. “I thought—”

Nesryn smirked. “I never said that, actually.”

Aelin’s mouth formed an _O_ shape then recovered so quickly Nesryn might have imagined it. “Cheeky.”

“At the very least you’ll learn not to burn things, right?”

Aelin chuckled. “Maybe.”

~~~~

The kitchen lay in shambles.

Aelin was doubled over in laughter. Nesryn stared, a cream-coloured liquid covering her face. She didn’t necessarily mind the laughter, and even found herself wanting to join in, but she loved teasing Aelin too much.

After spending hours procuring ingredients—it was late afternoon already—Nesryn had been trying to show Aelin how to use a stand mixer, and Aelin had waved her off. Two seconds later, the mix splattered every which way. She’d jumped to Aelin’s rescue and turned off the mixer, but not before the slimy liquid covered her apron.

Aelin approached Nesryn, still smiling widely. “Sorry,” she said, but she didn’t sound apologetic whatsoever.

Nesryn finally gave up and smiled. “At least I wasn’t the only victim.”

Aelin snorted and exploded in laughter again. This time, Nesryn joined her, her face heating up from the effort. She took deep breaths until the laughing died out.

The queen in front of her grinned.

“I guess that’s a no to the cookies,” Nesryn said.

“Yup,” Aelin said. “Let me get that.” She reached out to clean Nesryn’s forehead, then moved to her cheek.

Nesryn stopped breathing, and things got suddenly quiet. Everything but her heart, that is.

Aelin slowly wiped below Nesryn’s eyes. Nesryn shut them in response.

Her cheeks now felt relatively clean, but Aelin didn’t sever the connection.

Nesryn had touched Aelin’s hand before, but this touch to her cheek didn’t feel the same, as if she was being touched by a completely different person. When she opened her eyes and they met Aelin’s, the aching in her heart frightened her.

“Nesryn,” Aelin breathed.

Nesryn came to her senses and looked away, breaking the tautness between them. She took a deep breath. “We should clean this up,” she said.

Aelin nodded, resting her arms back by her sides. She beamed.

Nesryn wondered how Aelin mustered anything resembling a smile at that moment.

The two women made quick work of clearing the mess, the tension that apparently only Nesryn felt slowly dissolving, until they were back to their semi-carefree banter.

When they were done, Aelin said, “We make a good team.”

Nesryn smiled. “I think I’ll take a walk.”

“I’ll join you.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine. I need to be on my own.”

“Are you sure?”

Nesryn gave Aelin a reassuring smile and hoped Aelin wouldn’t take her refusal the wrong way. “Yes.”

“We could try this baking thing again tomorrow.”

“Not sure that would be enough time to recover.” Nesryn smiled. It was weak, she knew.

Aelin gave her a low laugh and moved in for a hug.

_After everything?_

_Nesryn, she almost kissed you. Stop calling it_ everything _._

But she returned the hug anyway. Aelin held on for a beat too long. “You sure you’re all right?”

Nesryn gave Aelin one last squeeze before pulling away. “I’ll be back before ten,” she said, and walked away.

The feelings this hug, this concern from Aelin, stirred in her were going to be impossible to get rid of.

 _How am I going to sleep in her bed tonight?_ Nesryn thought, before strolling into the night.

~~~~

**ONE**

“I want to show you something,” Aelin told Nesryn one morning, dragging her to the massive royal gardens. Nesryn followed willingly, needing anything to stave away the staleness of her daily routine of breakfast then checking on her ruk, followed by a visit to the training grounds to practise her archery and another meal back at the castle, and spending the rest of the day roaming the castle grounds.

Then spending the night trying to keep her hands off Aelin, and still somehow ending up holding her through the night.

It was a stale existence, she had to admit.

But that last part of her night? That part she loved. It was doing strange things to her, but she relished every second.

Now, the gardens seemed to stretch, as did the silence. Nesryn finally got impatient. “Where are we going?”

“You’ll see,” said Aelin with a mischievous smile.

Since they were walking for what seemed like forever, Nesryn took the opportunity to say, “I have been wanting to talk to you about something.”

“Of course, Nesryn. What do you need?”

“Why would you assume I need something?”

“That’s how you start the conversation every time you do,” Aelin said, a knowing smile on her face.

“I do not!”

“Yes, you do.”

“I do n—” Nesryn shook her head. “Whatever.”

Aelin grinned. “So what is it? You know I am happy to help however I can.”

Not for the first time, Nesryn was fixated by the ease with which the other woman carried herself, and her effortless, welcoming smile, despite everything she has gone through.

“I was thinking… uh… I think I want to stay for a while longer.”

Aelin stopped in her tracks and stared at Nesryn. Nesryn couldn’t read her.

“Really?”

“Yes, really,” Nesryn said.

Aelin flung herself on Nesryn, knocking the air out of her lungs. Nesryn grabbed her close, her arms wrapping around her tightly.

“I’m so glad you agreed!” Aelin whispered into her neck.

Nesryn shivered.

She buried her face in Aelin’s neck and squeezed. And so quickly Nesryn didn’t have time to react, Aelin withdrew, placed a kiss on Aelin’s cheek, and walked away.

Still in a daze, Nesryn stopped Aelin with a hand on her arm and walked closer, turning her so they were face to face.

“What was that?” She asked.

Aelin feigned innocence. “A kiss?”

A kiss? _A kiss?_ _The nerve!_

It was time to stop thinking and start acting.

“You call that a kiss, your highness?” Nesryn breathed. “Allow me.”

She looked Aelin in the eye for a split second. Her face heated up.

And she crashed her lips onto Aelin’s, her body onto hers. Aelin responded in spectacular fashion, pushing their lips closer together until it became a tentative push and pull, a mighty tug of war with no winner in sight.

Nesryn pulled away, breathless. She stared at Aelin.

“Now that,” Aelin whispered, “is indeed a kiss,” and kissed her again. And again.

And again.

When Nesryn pulled away after several times, all she could do was stare in wonder, the butterflies in her stomach beating their wings in reckless abandon.

“I wanted that for a long time.”

_What?_

“Did you now?” Nesryn asked. It wasn’t possible.

Aelin kissed her. This one was slow, gentle, reassuring.

“Does that answer your question?” Aelin said when she pulled back.

Nesryn couldn’t help but smile. “I think so,” she teased. “So all this time—”

“You were so cute trying to stay awake until I, you know, _fell asleep_.”

Nesryn gawked.

“Of course, that was my grand scheming. So I can get you to snuggle.”

“Typical.” Nesryn rolled her eyes at Aelin’s grin. “So what now?”

Aelin beamed. “Now,” she said, “Now I show you my favourite spot in the gardens. You are going to love it.”

Then Aelin pointed at a secluded area behind a small row of trees. When they got there, Nesryn’s eyes filled with tears.

A picnic basket lay on a blue blanket. Behind the blanket was a small house, big enough for two rooms. Two tiny rooms. One housed a bookcase with three short shelves, the other had a bed.

But what made her cry was outside.

“What do you think?” Aelin asked.

“Incredible,” Nesryn whispered. “Thank you.”

A bow and arrow awaited her, and a target stood a few feet farther away.

“So you could practise while I read,” Aelin said. “I love being around you, and this way, I’ll get to spend even more time with you.”

And indeed she did. That spot, their spot, quickly became Nesryn’s favourite place in the world. Alongside her favourite person in the world. It became the place where they spent most of their time together, Aelin sharing a snippet from the book she was reading, and Nesryn listening as she shot yet another arrow.

Aelin constantly struggled to persuade her to take a break, and sometimes even joined her. But when she succeeded, their destination was almost always guaranteed.

Their bed.

And what more could Nesryn ask for?


End file.
